DPS Tracks 17: War is the Answer

I've got a few things on my mind, today. First, is Saurfang. Well, it's not that I hate Saurfang (although, he isn't on my fucking Christmas list or anything). But I kinda hate that our guild has a tendency of... slipping back down the difficulty slope. We get a kill, we make it look clean, and then the next week it's /smack! back to progression style wiping.

I know we only killed the big stupid orc once, but I suppose I have a case of wishful thinking, and hoped that we could, y'know... get through him before he got to 10 FUCKING MARKS!

Obligatory rant about Guild/Raid night aside, I found out that FFDP put out a second album. Sure, it came out in September, but sue me, I've been busy. I don't know if I talked about how much I like Five Finger Death Punch...

I like it this much!

Before I get to that, I've been noticing a large amount of (additional) QQ in the blogosphere about dps in Heroics. And while I already threw in my two cents on the matter (I really don't give a shit), I thought I'd share an encounter that tickled me pink.

I actually was not a member of this pug, but experienced it vicariously through guild members. I suppose some of you remember huntards. There aren't nearly as many as there used to be, since most of them rerolled Deathtards, so it is really a sight to see when you catch a glimpse of them in the wild. And this one was no different.

Clad in spellpower gear (possibly even a few cloth pieces), this Hunter came in at a low 500 dps, and the entire guild was giggling at his gear and his performance. We didn't bother to tell him in party chat, mind you, that he was possibly the worst player we'd seen since Braylon Edwards. We just thought it was funny to see someone two entire expansions behind in class knowledge and damage output.

Which is what brought me to my next thought. The next time I am actually watching the meters in a pug heroic, and someone struggles to break 1k dps, I'm going to stop and calmly tell them:

Burning Crusade called: They want their DPS back.



War is the Answer
By Five Finger Death Punch

[Verse 1]
(GO!)
This aint a test, fuck the rest.
Time to set the record straight.
Talk your shit behind my back, let's hear you say it to my face?
I've heard the words roll out your lips.
You little trendy fuckin' bitch!
The time has come to get you some, cause I just do not give a shit.

[Chorus]
Do you take me for a fool!?
How's it feel to be a tool!?
See to me you're just a cancer!
Motherfucker!, War is the Answer!

[Verse 2]
As of now the end begins,I want to laugh but there's no joke.
To eat with the beast, and run with the wolves.
On the Ashes you must choke.
I know it's got to chap your ass, to think I just won't go away.
Forget me not, I'm writing you off.
I've got nothing more to say.

[Chorus]
Do you take me for a fool!?
How's it feel to be a tool!?
To me you're just a cancer!
Motherfucker!, War is the Answer!

[Bridge]
(Get some!)
You wanna disrespect me, you little fuckin' punk?
Everything I've done?, And who I am? As far as I've fuckin' come?
I'll slap you so fuckin' hard, It'll feel like you kissed a freight train.
Fuck you!

[Guitar Solo]

(Rawr!)

[Chorus]
(Bam!)
Do you take me for a fool!?
How's it feel to be a tool!?
Talking shit behind my back...
See to me you're just a cancer!
The time has come to get you some.
Motherfucker!, War is the Answer!

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!