Sunday, May 31, 2009

Paladin Schmaladin

Website here.

Cluster-fuck here.

I found this article rather interesting, given my obvious hesitation to produce personal information online or in-game. Many individuals, mostly outsiders, others long-time fans and followers, are conducting a witch hunt for the man/woman for nothing more than seeking to protect his/her identity on the internet.

Allow me a few moments to lend a little personal experience to this tragic tale:

I am a genderless, cybernetic chihuahua, researched and developed in New Mexico and then sold to the Mexican Government in 1985. I was heavily involved in the "Tijuana Chihuahua" Liberation Movement of the late 80s, and spent most of the next decade performing black ops for the Cuban Government. Most recently, I was "transferred" to Florida to observe...

Are you still reading this?

Seriously though, I've dated twice on the internet. They both ended horribly. How horribly?

I met my most recent ex in the tragically produced Ragnarok Online (No link because I wouldn't give that piece of shit publicity if they paid me in sexual favors). We met online, we called, we met, we had sex, we moved in together.

They cheated on me, used me, took my dog AND FUCKING ATE IT!

(Insert Asian joke)

Seriously. Fucking seriously.

So now I give people some bogus story so I don't have to deal with their need to meet face to face. Problem solved. Girls think I'm a girl. Guys think I'm Chris Hansen. Nobody wants to date Xi, cuz Xi doesn't wanna date you. All is well with the world.

...except some people are still breathing.

Seriously though, do you think this person went too far by posting a fake picture of themselves? Do you think individuals have the right to protect their personal identity as their internet "fame" rises? Should I have tacos for lunch?

Note: If you're Asian, and are offended by my comments about them eating dogs, GET FUCKED. If you have a problem with every Asian being stereotyped by people like me, then it's time to found a non-profit organization to combat the true villainy: People actually eating pets. I'd recommend Asian Animal Owner's Against Pet Sandwiches. Hit me up when you do, and I'll make your first donation.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wednesday Night Raid

Things have been rocky lately. Guild keeps losing personnel, people don't show up on time/at all. Working the difficult fights, even the farm fights, aren't easy if you're still training people. One or two, maybe you'll be okay. 5 or more, and things start riding the edge of what you're capable of.

So we didn't clear Hodir tonight, which is the only boss we attempted. While I'm sure it could be used for educational purposes, the guild doesn't exactly know about the WMO site, so I don't feel like uploading the failed fights.

The question was posed to me by my partner in crime: Is it a good idea to bitch about guild mates on a public site where they can read?

Well, they don't exactly know about the blog. And even if they did, why would I care? They should be asking for my opinions anyway. Not only do I know what I'm doing, and am well informed on many of WoW's mechanics, but I'm the hardest working player on their roster. Since I arrived when they were SSC, my barely geared ass put their heavy hitters into the ground.

When I haven't been topping the dps charts, I've been well within the top 5, destroying mages and rogues and hunters, players of characters that are supposed to beat out hybrids of equal gear and skill.

I'm a fucking wrecking crew. I'm the reason bosses die. They should be lining up, begging for my insight.

So yeah, if they stumble on this site, good for them. Maybe they'll learn something.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Tuesday Night Farm


This might be offensive to some of you. And it only has a little to do with tonight's raid. But I hate hunters.



They should die in a fire.

They have cried when I even expressed interest in a ranged weapon, even if it's best in slot for me. But, for some reason, they're allowed to roll on and loot melee dps weapons that would by far benefit melee more than it could ever benefit a hunter as a stat stick.

Hunters can die in a fire.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Freya Down in the Second Round

Guild First: Freya

I said I hate this fight. And I meant it too. Tonight's assignment was a snooze-fest. DPS -one- add until 20%, and wait... I hate waiting. Not as much as I hate add phases...

But we got through it, and that's all that counts. A kill is a kill, after all. Got a Razorscale parse out of it too. Wait... is that another add phase?

Razorscale - 3632
Freya - 3122

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tuesday Night Suckfest

Oh, wait, I'm sorry. What I meant to say was...

Wait a second...

*Stands back to take a second look.*

No, no that's right... suckfest.

A healer and a competent tank short, and we find ourselves on the less traveled path... meaning, our raid leader wanted to skip the optional, farmable bosses in lieu of progression bosses, even though we were, as I said, short our normal raid requirements.

Needless to say, it was pretty damn painful. I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the atmosphere. The extra fury warrior that couldn't break 4k. The missing buffs. I just didn't do as well as I should have. But, because I wanted to do this from the start, here are tonight's records (and since there are no old records, these are all, through technicality, record breakers):

XT-002 Deconstructor - 5620
Kologarn - 5654
Auriaya - 4865
Hodir - 5451

I got nothing. Peace out.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Rotation, rotation, rotation...

So I have talked to a few fury warriors, and read a few posts on the official forums, and everyone says something different about the rotation. Sure, everyone is close, but if you listen to me (and you should), they've got it wrong.

This is really simple, people. The rotation is pretty much set in stone. Only a blue post or a spot in the bible would make it more legitimate. But for those not in the know, the fury rotation is:

Whirlwind -> Bloodthirst -> Slam on Bloodsurge Proc + Heroic Strike above 65 rage

Sixty-five rage.


Six to the fizzle.

Why? It's important to establish a threshold above the combined cost of Whirlwind and Bloodthirst to insure that, at any given time, you can use both of these abilities as they cooldown. You want to use them every time. Every. Time.

And I'm not kidding either. If you're HSing at 40 rage like a little monkey, and Whirlwind -and- Bloodthirst come off cooldown, then guess where that puts you. Unless your rage generation is ridiculous, you're gonna be twiddling your thumbs while you wait for Bloodthirst to light up. This is lost dps. This is also bad dps.

So 40 rage is out. The true combined cost of BT and WW is 55 rage. Throw on another 10 for human error, and you'll find yourself sitting pretty. At the very least, with my gear and spec, I'm sitting pretty.

Here's something I learned a long time ago, when I was first suiting up for Karazhan: Don't try to reinvent the wheel. Do what the successful people do. After all, they're up there for a reason.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Fury Warrior UI

Been sitting on my ass, waiting on a 10 man raid to come together, and I thought I'd share my UI and my keybindings, since I took a long time to piece it all together. We'll start with the basics and move to the more advanced.

And yes, I like this setup. Omen and recount are both out of the way, but at the same time, easily accessible, while more pertinent things clutter the middle of my screen.


I like to bring up Omen first, because every solid DPS should be watching their threat at all times! I'm serious. Even the best tanks can have lapses of judgement, bad luck with the RNG (ever have your main tank miss their first shield slam? I have O_o), or several other reasons that your threat can creep up on theirs. Don't let yourself pass your tank. Ever. Or you get squished, and if there's a cone ability in play, so does half your raid.

And then we'll call you a dumbass.


I think that recount is an interesting tool in that it's worth varies. On one hand, it allows the intelligent DPS player to monitor their progress, and make tweaks -after combat- to improve their perfomance.

On the other hand, a lot of people attempt to ramp up their dps while it's shown in real time, and ignore what I already said about threat. The age-old saying is true: Dead DPS don't. Personally, I close it until after the fight. Bright colors distract me...

Power Auras Classic

This is a game-changer. I use this for both tanking and DPSing, and it improves my threat generation and DPS drastically.

This mod is completely configurable to your liking. In this screen, the large semi-circles indicate that my instant slam (Bloodsurge) had proc'ed, and the red exclamation mark icon indicates that I have more than 65 rage. I'll talk about rotation later, and the importance of dumping/conserving rage.

I thought I was going to talk about keybindings and macros, but I might save that for another day. I say might because if you can reach all your keys without having to keyboard turn, and can also keep the drool in your mouth, you'll be fine.

If you can't, go roll a hunter.

Healer Issues

Our healers can't seem to sort it out on their own. I guess it never hurts to give them a nudge in the right direction.

For posterity: 4 Reasons Healing Meters Suck

Friday, May 15, 2009

Freya Eats My Face: Film at 11

Friday Night Raid

Not our best work. Certainly not my best work. More than one of those attempts, I died like a complete noob at the beginning.

I have to say, though, that Blizzard can take this fight and shove it. Oh, what's that? You ran out of ideas for bosses in Ulduar? I wonder how this meeting sounded...


Or, alternatively:

Dave: I have an idea! You know how players really like add phases! Let's put six of the fuckers in one boss fight!

Fuck you, Dave. And that goat in the programming department.


I remember reading through the blogspot terms and services, and they had a few things to say about hateful content.

HATEFUL CONTENT: Users may not publish material that promotes hate toward groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, and sexual orientation/gender identity.

So I wonder if I'm allowed to write my thoughts about a blog I stumbled across today... There are perks to not caring, I suppose.

This site pissed me off. Not because I'm some touchy atheist. Not because I hate christians. Well... not christians -specifically-. We'll get to that...

I really don't have a problem if you believe in an imaginary god. Or a real god, like the Burrito God. Seriously, your religion is your business. I don't even make public conversation about it anymore. Who am I to question someone's faith?

But my real problem are with religious enthusiasts who are assholes about it. The entire blog listed above could be described in the following though process:


This is the kind of arrogance that I can't tolerate. You want to believe in a god you can't see? Cool. You want to call me a moron for not believing, too? Then I have a list of painful "home" remedies for your stupidity.


The truth of the matter is, I'm in the middle of the spectrum between full-blown, can't-talk-over-christian and full-blown, URGODISSTUPID-atheist. I consider myself agnostic: open-minded to the possibility of a god, but skeptical in the absence of proof. The lack of proof towards either side is what allows this petty argument to continue as long as it has. If there was a test that one could conduct to determine whether god -ever- existed, we'd be done with this by now.

So without proof, what is left? Extreme loyalty, blind faith, and an arrogance that makes me see red. If not believing everything I hear makes me a moron, then I'm the biggest idiot on the face of the planet.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


I don't know if I mentioned this...

But I think I hate the Argent Tournament dailies.

Why, you ask?

You probably didn't ask that. I know, I would hear you if you did.

Yes, I know that dailies are an excellent way to make money, especially if you're still wiping on Deconstructor and the saronite market is bullshit.

And I know that most of them are completely optional parts of the game, something that the most casual never has to touch.

But I'm a title whore. I want Crusader in front of my name, and some programmer thought it'd be a good idea to make me fly out in the middle of BFE once a day to get it. Five minutes alone with said programmer, and I would've changed his mind...