Ony's Back?

2009-09-23: Ony's back?

No, I'm not really surprised she's back. I read the blogs and wowinsider and every insipid website that has to give us "up-to-the-minute' coverage on things going on with the PTR.

And I still suck at starting the freakin' combat log on time. The Beasts parse is, for that reason, a smidge short because the first minute or so was cut off. For that reason, I'm discarding fight entirely. Y'know... for my records anyway.

Anub'arak - 5957

SSDD

2009-09-21: SSDD

Nothing new to report. More wipin' on a boss that doesn't actually drop loot we need. Cool.

Dread and the Last Boss

There aren't very many bosses that scare me. I've been taunting them since Vancleef. But there are two bosses that stick out in my mind as bosses I -never- want to run into again.

One was Archimonde...

The next will be Yogg-Saron, of this I have no doubt. Our guild has never been that great at the seriously complicated encounters. I thought Mimiron was going to smear us against the wall, but we took him down with surprising ease. What's really got me scared here is everyone and there mother has run into a freakin' cloud. That's right. We can't get past phase 1.

Even I hit a cloud. And our main tank hit a cloud. And everybody we thought would be too skilled/coordinated/attentive to run into a cloud did. And that's seriously got me worried. That's why this scares me, and reminds me of Archimonde. It's the same "one mistake costs the raid" mechanic that made me hate that stupid, red skinned douche bag.

I'll still raid, and throw myself at him until they call it a night. But I'm just saying... if there were ever a time that I thought about not showing up... tonight would be it.

More Like Snog-Your-Mom

2009-09-17: Anub-Yogg

Yeah, I don't know what I was going for there. First 25 man attempt at Yogg EVER. And I think I might hate him nearly as much as my ex. Maybe... depends on whether or not he likes dog...

Anub'arak - 5488

DPS Tracks 9: Get Inside

Corey Taylor's other band. Yes, you can laugh at that.

I personally enjoy the sound of Slipknot much more than the traditional five-man setup that Stone Sour uses. But they still crank out a few hits. Here's one of my favorites.

Stone Sour - Get Inside
by Duketrasher

Seed, gotta let it grow, why ya gotta watch when I let it feed?
Better look into the mirror for the face you hide away, everyday
But I don't give a fuck; I let it roll - I smoke the old
Gotta run, gotta rend, gotta maim, gotta make it through another maze
STAY AWAY!
Please: wring the blood from my hands
Don't pretend that you understand me
I don't even want you looking at me
Motherfucker, GET INSIDE!

Get inside, get inside (motherfucker) x4

Christ, have you seen this guy? Make ya sick, gonna peel away all the impurities
Cuz all you wanna do is keep curin' me, but I don't give a fuck I kill everyone
You'll be mopping up blood and guts and all the shit when I'm done
Isn't this fun? Gimme a gun and I'll tell you all the secrets I hide
BEFORE I RUN!

Please: wring the blood from my hands
Don't pretend that you understand me
I don't even want you looking at me
Motherfucker, GET INSIDE!

Get inside, get inside (motherfucker) x4

[Solo: Josh]

Maybe if you look away, I can slip away, gotta get away (RUN, MOTHERFUCKER)
Right now I stare at shit, I'm a heretic, but I'll never give you none of it
Tied up in the back of the lab, laid on the slab, got the gift of gab, what'choo want from me?
I don't even know I got a damn disease, but I KNOW YOU WANNA KILL ME!

Please: wring the blood from my hands
Don't pretend that you understand me
I don't even want you looking at me
Motherfucker, GET INSIDE!

Get inside, get inside (motherfucker) x4

Another Tuesday: No New Weapon

2009-09-16: 2-handers are a lie

I got nothing. Exhausted and dog sitting a stray. Posting the milestones and gonna find some grub.

Beasts of Northrend - 4226
Lord Jaraxxus - 6636
Faction Champions - 4256
Twin Val'kyr - 7271

Weird: Guild first Mimiron + Vezax

2009-09-14: Mimiron + Vezax

It's funny how it takes us longer to clear Ulduar than it has taken us to clear normal ToC. We haven't attempted the hard modes in the Trial yet (the beasts look lovely), but Anub Arak was cake. I guess we're working on Yogg next week. Oh, it sounds like great great fun.

Least I got to dps Thorim for once:

Thorim - 4634
Mimiron - 3964
General Vezax - 4980

Hot Dog Buns

MOTHER FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!

Warning: The following is a rant. Run for your lives.

How hard is it to make a mother fucking hot dog bun without it falling apart as I pull it out of the package!?!?

I mean, I don't know jack about making bread. But how hard can it fucking be. I get ridiculously cheap hot dogs from places like wienerschnizel (yum) and corner stands all the time and their buns are fucking perfect. But I buy some from the store, and the package of 'fresh' hot dog buns can't stand to even be pulled out of the package, let alone hold a frank.

Learn to make hot dog buns, bread vendors! Learn or I will find you and make you suffer!!!

Can I Have Your Stuff?

I'm sure you've all seen them. Posts on the forums about how so-and-so is "fed up" of "this stupid game" and how "they're quitting because can't get it right." This type of stuff is seemingly prerequisite in the endless QQ that is the MMO forum community.

Every once in a very great while, I'll find someone who posts in a very refined manner, with intelligent points of view on different mechanics or circumstances in-game that they weren't pleased with which ultimately led to their departure.

Even these are responded with: "Can I Have Your Stuff?"

And then the "power" gamer chimes in: "I'm just fine, l2play."

And then the troll comes by with some remark that is completely unrelated.

And by page two, you can't even remember what the thread was about.

I don't have a problem with people quitting a game. I encourage it, actually. It is the -only- way to let the guys upstairs know that you're truly discontent. Online games are a democracy where votes are cast with your game time cards. And while I personally like reading through the more intelligible "Here's why I'm leaving, I hope this is helpful" posts, I kind of feel that they are out of place outside of a direct line of communication with the game's development.

The reason for this is the trolls. Everybody and their mother has been infected with this disease that started over at 4-chan. All of a sudden, griefing/trolling/being a douche bag is popular. So they think they're actually being cool when they come by and completely derail any conversation that could've blossomed into something good.

I think I"m rambling... I'll get to it... maybe...

Basically, I read a post about a lifetime subscriber who canceled (!) his subscription to Champions Online due to several gameplay bugs as well as the drastic change that occurred on launch day. And while the post left me feeling all right, the following horde of zombie-trolls pissed me right off.

So trolls: Go home. Oh, wait, you -are- home. You probably never left home. Because no one out here loves you. Try as hard as you like to get the attention you crave, but you will -never- find true happiness.

Suffer!

Guild First: 25-man Faction Champions and Twin Valkyrs

Yay. A bunch of carebears from a roleplaying server beat down a pseudo-pvp encounter. After trying for a looooooooong time.

Heads against a brick while for like... 20 wipes only killing one person. Until we got our cc coordinated and pushed past the first 3, after that it was cake.

And the Twin Valkyrs were a little disappointing in comparison. Seriously, after being stunted on the champions for 4 nights, you would think the Valkyrs would pose some sort of challenge. Not really. We wiped twice learning the fight. 3rd time was easy mode.

I dunno if this is what Blizzard had in mind. But I'm not complaining. Actually... I think I will until they drop a goddamn 2 handed weapon.

In other news, Champions Online is totally borked. WTB working servers. Yay.

Daily Maintenance -_-

Yay, extended extended maintenance!

Seriously, I wouldn't have such a problem with this if they actually fixed something. Which, it is important to note, they didn't last week.

This isn't hard, guys. You take the systems down. You do what you gotta do. And then you bring them back up. Didn't start that 4 hour procedure till 5 minutes till deadline? Do it next week.

I swear that if I get another "Additional instances cannot be launched" message, I'm gonna go postal on some Blizzard employees.

I don't know if I have anything witty to say... I'm just bored.

I pre-ordered Champions Online, which is supposed to release today. In fact, I think that if I had taken my lazy ass to the store and purchased a physical copy, I would already be in game. But, because I used some company's digital download service to pre-order, the whole thing is screwed up. Apparently, my order is still pending.

Well, I'm pissed off. Maintenance isn't over for another three hours, and I'm stuck with my thumb up my ass.

Oh, and Dayn's still MIA. Someone remind me to hurt him when I see him...

DPS Tracks 8: Only for the Night

I know it seems like only yesterday that I was ranting and raving about these guys. I can't help it, I think they're so freakin' awesome, I might just commit violent acts if they requested it.

Just kidding. Don't call the freakin' police.

I remember debating on whether or not to use this on my playlist, because it's subject matter is a little less than... up to my usual angry, violent standards. But the song is just so intense, that I can't help but look -forward- to listening to it. Decide for yourself.

Edit: God fucking damn it. I got psyched about embedding a youtube video that -didn't- look like it was made by a retard. And guess what. It fucking was. Apparently, some people think it's cool to only have a primarily audio listing available in WIDESCREEN. A track from an album... with only the album cover for video.. as widescreen. Needless to say, the widescreen vids take up my whole effin' blog, including the side bar. Makes the kid below seem like a genius.



Dream Evil
Only For The Night

How I hate to see you leave tomorrow
Leave behind a man in pain and sorrow
Silly me, who thought we'd be together
But tonight we'll say goodbye forever

Only for the night
Take me to the moonlit sky
Only for the night.

Even though I do respect your wishes
All we had in a whiff has turned to ashes
You and I were perfect for each other
Can't you see, you and I must be together.. but!

Only for the night
Take me to the moonlit sky
Only for the night.

This is wrong - Don't you see
We belong - you and me
How I wish that you could change your mind

Only for the night
Take me to the moonlit sky
Only for the night.

This is wrong - can't you see
We belong - you and me
How I wish that you could change your mind
Only for the night

Improving DPS

Okay, let's get the silly, preface crap out of the way. World of Warcraft is just a game.

Wow, I said it. It's pretty true, too. It runs on your computer and everything.

But before you start quoting those words on your license to be retarded, there is something else to consider. World of Warcraft is also both a social medium and a group activity. Well, raiding is a group activity. As with any other group activity (sports, D&D sessions, etc.) a certain level of maturity must be brought to the table to ensure that you don't let your team mates down.

With this in mind, I bring you the DPS = Sacrifice way to improve your dps performance. Because "it's just a game" doesn't give you an excuse to suck.

Improve Framerate:

I don't see this one mentioned very often, but there are times when I have personally felt that a slow system/game client can limit a person's DPS ceiling. Think about it. Every time the game stutters, you lose a few seconds where you could (and really should) be doing something.

Unfortunately, due the vast amount of computer configurations, I wouldn't really be able to list any specifics on improving your framerate. This type of improvement would take a bit of research on your part. Don't have the time? Make the time. DPS = Sacrifice.

I can provide you with a few of the following places to start:

-Disable unncessary Windows Services
-Update your hardware drivers to their latest versions
-Update Windows appropriately
-Turn off all unnecessary programs in the background (ICQ, MSN, browsers)
-Browse the tech support forums for system and game-related advice (Here and here are good places to start)
-Lower your video settings for raiding

Spec for Success:

I know I've said this before: If you want to be successful, do what successful people do. I suppose that doesn't mean that you have to get the 'most awesome cookie-cutter build EVAR,' but you should probably find a build that suits you that is pretty darn close. Alterations to your build should be adequately researched to determine if they suit your role and playstyle.

I'm always lounging around in my tank getup, so for those who need easy access, my build is here. For more in-depth discussions on your spec and class, I would recommend heading over to Elitist Jerks. Yeah, those guys are awesome.

Rotation:

This. Read it. 3.2 didn't change anything.

Gearing up:

There are several ways to make a "gear progression list." I personally prefer to use the spreadsheets instead of word-of-mouth advice or the infamous 'eyeballing' method our resident retnoob employs. I used to swear by maxdps.com, but in the update-deprived weeks that followed 3.2, I found a tool I like more. The spreadsheet I use was here, but there were some... uh... issues, and the thread was locked. Hopefully, our buddy Landsoul will get things straightened out and that link will actually be useful in the near future.

Analyzing Your DPS:

Of course, all the gear lists in the world won't help you if you're not actually improving dps. Either use your combat log or recount to analyze your dps. This is the only way to ensure that what you are doing is correct, and that you are improving as a player.

I prefer to turn on combat logging and then use the WoW Meter Online client to upload my parse at the end of the night. I do this for two reasons:

1) It lets me record it for posterity, and allows me analyze my progress from week to week.
2) I'm not tempted to look at my dps during combat

The last one should find a way into your brain. I'd recommend a silver hammer, if necessary. DO. NOT. LOOK. AT. YOUR. DPS. DURING. A. FIGHT!

The reason for this is pretty simple. Unless you're a super genius (Chances are, you're not), staring at a flashy number is going to distract you from the task at hand. More importantly, if you're doing well, it could cause you to do something stupid. And for the uninitiated, when DPS does something stupid, they die. Tell me, class, how much dps does a dead person do?

Don't do it. It's bad DPS.

And there you have it. The unofficial compendium of ways to make you DPS just a little harder. Now press the buttons faster, I'm gonna make me a sammich.

Tuesday Night: Back to Work!

2009-08-26: Back to Work!

I'm lazy. Milestones are down there. I'll have something witty to say tomorrow. I need to find food.

Kologarn - 7494
Auriaya - 6414
Hodir - 8663

Heroic Daily: The Oculus

So let's get it out of the way. I -hate- Oculus. I'm talking about hate. The kind of hate that most people reserve for their former employers (Fuck you, Steve), their exes, or that guy you caught masturbating in your closet.

...you know who you are.

What I hate about Oculus is that the entire dungeon makes you use a stupid game mechanic that completely trivializes your gear and experience up to that point. If you will...

Development meeting #152
(...2 minutes before lunch)
Ron: We need to do something special for Oculus.
Alan: How about a boss with adds?
Tim: You're an asshole, Alan. How about...
Ron: I know!
Tim: I was talking...
Ron: How about we put these annoying dragons that you have to fly around and clear trash with! We'll even make you fight the boss in them, and their abilities will be full of suck and fail!
Tim: ...that's a terrible idea.
Boss: I like it. Let's do that. Off to lunch!
Tim: ...you guys are assholes.

Yes, I know that they made the drake's hp scale with gear. But I didn't notice it. The entire ordeal was just as frustrating as the last three times I did it. Which also happen to be... the only times I did it.

Pushing my obvious hate for the instance aside, I went back because, thanks to my guild's week long break from raiding, emblems of Triumph haven't exactly been falling from the fucking sky. So I go back, find a healer (pulling teeth), find a tank (God hates me), and two other slobs to drudge our way through another fun afternoon in my least favorite place.

Let's skip to the end. Because while there was a wipe on the 3rd boss (healer went one way, tank went the other -_-;), up until then I wasn't going to say -anything- about today's daily. Nothing at all. And then we wiped twice on Eregos. And that, apparently, is a deadly sin. Because our third dps decided that he didn't want to pay a large repair bill for two silly emblems.



Now, I'm not going to get up on a high horse. There have been circumstances where I have left a group hanging in an instance. Wipe 10 times on the first boss? Yeah, I'm thinking this isn't going to happen. Priest thinks they can heal in shadow form? Better start heading for the door. And then there was that one time where my brother's car broke down...

My point is this. This is Oculus. Not only do most people consider this to be the hardest of the Lich King heroics, but no one that I've talked to has even done it in the last 5 months. Expecting perfection from people you -just- met just makes you an asshole.

If you're just another dps in ToC gear, don't cry to me about wiping on heroic content. If you don't have the cash to cough up a 2 wipe repair bill, then frankly, you don't belong in heroics. That's what normal mode is for, you big pussy.

Ranting aside, it took five minutes to summon my guildie Volsh to man a green drake and kill him with no problems. Guess that says something about the type of person who can't finish a dungeon run.

DPS Tracks 7: The Devil's Own

Still raiding. Still being a little badass. I've just been distracted. Blizzcon and the new expansion, along with a week off raiding has left me forgetting about the blog. Sue me. Here's my new favorite song. :P



The Devil's Own
Why!?

[Chorus:]
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
No matter what I've done, you've always criticized me
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
When it's said and done, will you remember...

[V1:]
Slap on the wrist, smack in the face
The family tree, gave me a name and nothing more
Neglected seed, why!?

[Pre-chorus:]
It's because of you I'm broken
It's because of you I'm dead inside
I never asked to be here
It's because of you I'm godforsaken
I never wanted this
It's because of you I'm dead inside

[Chorus:]
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
No matter what I've done, you've always criticized me
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
When it's said and done, will you remember me?

[V2:]
A happy home, a fairy tale, a broken dream
Gave me a life, then turned away
Killed everything, why!?

[Pre-chorus:]
It's because of you I'm broken
It's because of you I'm dead inside
I never asked to be here
It's because of you I'm godforsaken
I never wanted this
It's because of you I'm dead inside

Fuck!
Father, bastard, I'm the Devil's very own
Mother, know not, just who I've become
Father, hate me, for being all your not
Mother's baby, I hate what I've become
I hate what I've become
I hate what I've become

[Pre-chorus:]
It's because of you I'm broken
It's because of you I'm dead inside

[Chorus:]
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
No matter what I've done, you've always criticized me
Where did I go wrong? Who was I supposed to be?
When it's said and done, will you remember me?

Anyway, user uploaded live footage sucks. The stuff is usually filmed from someone's iphone and sounds like someone farted into a blender set to the highest setting, with a hole in the bottom to get the sound to an industrial fan via a leaky pipe.

So instead, I just found the live recording which is on the actual album. Professional sound guys FTW.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Getting Old

I rant and rave in guild chat and then remember I have a blog.

You know what pisses me off? Waiting for a heroic. No, not sitting in LFG. I don't sit in LFG. People randomly whisper me to tank/heal in heroics. I'm that fucking good. No, I don't have to wait for groups...

I have to wait to actually go -inside- an instance. Like a 5-day waiting period. And I'm seriously fucking tired of it.

What -really- pisses me off about the whole situation is that this problem existed quite a few months ago, and has been increasing gradually up until this last Tuesday when Blizzard provided individuals with actual incentive to run heroics. And what happened? They fucking did.

Or at least they're fucking trying. So here we are, with at least 15 other people, sitting to get into Heroic: Culling of Stratholme. And all I can think of is... why the fuck aren't I still farming saronite?

Guild First: Northrend Beasts!

Or something.

I'd say something about this boss -not- having any adds... but it's 4 mobs for one "boss," so you do the math.

After a frustrating Tuesday (A seriously bugged XT and Coliseum attempts where we didn't know what the -fuck- we were doing), we came back with a little research and kicked the beasts' asses on 25 man normal. I even managed to snag a trophy of the crusade (might as well, a two handed weapon won't drop until I lost my sk roll).

And now I'm awake bright and early and can't play because of maintenance.

...on a Thursday.

I don't really think I ask for much. Two handed weapons. Performance-based loot system. Guildies that know the difference between damage-per-second and "double penetration." Don't google that. Anyway, I don't think it's too much to ask for our servers to be up and running, y'know, outside of the weekly maintenance window.

Yes, it's a new patch and there were a few kinks. That just means it should've been tested longer. A lot longer. Do I expect perfection? Hardly.

I -don't- expect to die in every Trial of the Champion (even on regular) because the damn thing bugs out. I don't expect to lose my ass to XT when we've had his ass on farm since the 3rd week of Ulduar. And I don't expect to be sitting on my ass on a -Thursday- with nothing to do but load up a free-to-play mmo to keep me from chewing my hand off.

Something else that bugs me: Full instances. Really, Blizzard? I thought that was part of the whole "20-hour maintenance" thing. I'm logging in Tuesday to make sure my meta gem works in the few minutes before raid time, scrambling really, and I -still- can't do a heroic when I damn well please.

Ugh. People piss me off sometimes. On that note, anybody know how to dps a ret pally after the changes? Cuz I sure don't...

Too soon, Blizzard, too soon...

Okay, quick thoughts on 3.2.

A deadline is a deadline. 3PM PDT does not mean you can bring up the server 2 or 3 hours later. Seriously.

Second, way to test Ulduar and the other content you freakin' broke. *cough* XT *cough*

Lastly, the new instance kicked our asses. I'm out.